Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that the academic, social and economic pressures on children are increasing. I am of the opinion that
this
Linking Words
trend stems from family expectations, competition from schools and the desire to create economic value are the three primary causes and we can take effective steps to mitigate the devastating impact of
this
Linking Words
circumstance. Many parents have excessive expectations for their offspring;
hence
Linking Words
, in order to obtain exceptional outcomes and not disappoint their parents, many young individuals must study industriously and battle with educational standards. In the long run,
this
Linking Words
causes considerable stress for the youth.
In addition
Linking Words
, since educational performance rises and the number of student increase dramatically, younger learners increasingly encounter competition from their peers, which forces them to study labouriously to acquire their ambitious objectives. Another factor is that regarding students from impoverished families, tuition fees and living expenses are significant challenges for them to pursue higher education.
As a result
Linking Words
, many pupils must attempt to get scholarships and have part-time jobs to earn adequate money, resulting in unavoidable financial problems and commercial pressure.
Instead
Linking Words
of pushing their children towards unachievable academic ambitions, I suggest that parents should be incentivized to identify their children's potential and strengths to get realistic goals that are within their capabilities. Another approach is that schools and teachers must be patient and thoroughly guide students through difficult course topics
as well as
Linking Words
assist them in alleviating peer pressure and fostering healthy competitiveness.
Finally
Linking Words
, there should be numerous possibilities for adolescents to enrol in free courses and obtain appropriate subsidies.
For example
Linking Words
, the provision of scholarships and loans at a range of universities in Vietnam has enabled students to pursue their education without devoting excessive time to part-time employment. In conclusion, I believe that the support and harmonious combination of families, teachers and the state can assist in reducing the educational, social and commercial pressures that pupils encounter nowadays.
Submitted by dangtranquoctrung01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: