The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram below displays how
sugar
Use synonyms
is manufactured from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
linear process contains four main stages: farming, crushing, separating, and drying.
The first step is
Linking Words
growing
sugar
Use synonyms
cane, and it takes about 12 to 18 months to become mature. After it has fully grown, it is harvested either manually or mechanically. The manual method involves farmers removing the leaves first and
then
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chopping the canes,
while
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the mechanized method uses machines to cut the canes directly. The harvested canes are crushed in a special machine to extract the juice, which later on is purified by using a limestone filter.
Next,
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the purified juice is boiled in an evaporator to remove water and becomes syrup. The syrup is
then
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poured into a centrifuge where it is spun at high speed to separate the
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals.
Finally
Linking Words
, the crystals are dried and cooled and the final product is
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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