IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

At universities in some countries, it is common for students, especially for those who have no scholarship, to have jobs while they study. They may work in offices, at the library, in labs or as teachers’ assistants. They earn money for living expenses and sometimes receive a reduction in tuition as well. Is this a good idea? Support your opinion with specific reasons and details.

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Introduction
In recent times, increase the number of
students
Use synonyms
 doing part-time jobs. Most of the university
students
Use synonyms
, who
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to get
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
 or
reduction
Fix the agreement mistake
reductions
show examples
 in tuition fees,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
along with
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
studies
Use synonyms
. It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to
face
Use synonyms
 the living expense and pay some fees
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
studies
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is a positive development.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 are doing part-time
jods
Correct your spelling
jobs
along with
Linking Words
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
. The main reason for
done
Change the form of the verb
doing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is to
face
Use synonyms
 their living expense. To put on
othet
Correct your spelling
another
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
students
Use synonyms
 are studying
lone
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
 distance from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
,which is led them to live in a hostel or rented rooms. So they should find some money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pay
hostel
Correct article usage
the hostel
show examples
 fee or rent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
room
Add an article
the room
a room
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to gain experience and information for their future.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to improve their communication skill. Because they see
different
Add an article
a different
the different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
people
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 and
face
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
various
serious
veriours
Correct your spelling
various
 problems in their
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
, they can
adapted
Change the verb form
adapt
show examples
Linking Words
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
 for the future
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 do jobs
along with
Linking Words
 their
studies
Use synonyms
 helpful for their parents because they can pay some tuition fees through their earnings
For example
Linking Words
, in India 65% of
students
Use synonyms
 are from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor family or
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 do
part-time
Add an article
the part-time
show examples
 job
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
very helpful for their parents
Conclusion
In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 doing
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job is useful for
students
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 and helpful for their parents

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial burden
  • Living expenses
  • Tuition fees
  • Time management
  • Balancing responsibilities
  • Professional experience
  • Resume
  • Competitive edge
  • Job market
  • Networking opportunities
  • Career prospects
  • Internships
  • Academic performance
  • Dual responsibilities
  • Overwhelming
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