Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some of the inhabitants consider that a family plays an imperative role in human life. I agree with
this
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notion
due to
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suitable
guidance
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and financial
support
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. To commence with the view of the agreement that parents provide the best advice to their offspring
due to
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their life experience. To explain
this
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, by having a strong bond, people can share their ins and outs with their family members conveniently, which enables them to follow the
guidance
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of their guardians.
This
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also
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helps in preventing them from straying.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Oxford University in 2016 found that 73% of juveniles consult with their parents exclusively to get the best
guidance
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.
Hence
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, the family has been the first and prime source of
support
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.
Furthermore
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, people can receive financial
support
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from their parents for their
education
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, which friends cannot provide. To elaborate
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this
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on this
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, the financial
support
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from their family not only allows individuals to afford their studies but
also
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alleviates the economic burden, creating a conducive environment for them to focus on their academic pursuits.
This
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, in turn, empowers them to acquire higher
education
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, unlocking a myriad of job opportunities and contributing to their personal and professional growth.
For example
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, a headline from the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) revealed that 8 out of 10 families cover the
education
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expenses of their children, ensuring a bright future.
As a result
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, if children have strong financial
support
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, they can make their future brighter. In conclusion, family not only offers valuable
guidance
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but
also
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provides the financial means necessary for pursuing
education
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and future success.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. However, consider adding a few transition phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
While you provide solid arguments, try to expand on your points with more specific examples or personal anecdotes to make them more relatable and impactful.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated your agreement with the statement and provided relevant reasons to support your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, which contributes to the overall quality of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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