The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants
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The bar
chart
illustrates the numbers of males and females who attended different evening classes at an adult school and the second chart
compares the age profile of the attendees.
Overall
, it is evident that, more women
than men
engaged in the evening program. It can also
be seen that the majority, of course
, participants were older adults.
According to
the bar chart
, language was by far the most popular course
at the centre ,Correct word choice
and
however
the numbers of Add a comma
,however
women
offering the program were twice the number of men
. The painting was the second significant course
as it attracted almost similar numbers of both men
and women
, 25 males and 30 females. The sculpture was the least significant course
,however
it was very popular among Add a comma
,however
men
than women
, as men
reading sculpture figures was approximately as doubled as the figure for women
.
With regards to the pie chart
, evening studies were very popular among the elderly. People of 50 and over and 40-49 were the majority who attended the evening school, accounting for 42% and 26% respectively. Whereas
individuals of the ages 20-29 and 30-39 moderately participated in the evening classes as each recorded a rate lesser than a fifth. ,Furthermore
the evening programme was less important for young people under 20 years as just 5% of the entire evening class population were within that age group.Add a comma
,Furthermore
Submitted by yeboahsamuellaabban on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, women, men, course with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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