IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates how many
people
 visited the National Gallery, the Victoria and Albert
Museum
 and the British
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 from 2007 to 2012.
Overall
,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it can be observed that over the years more and more
people
 visited the National Gallery,
whereas
 the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 to the Victoria and Albert
Museum
 and the British
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
show examples
 had a decrease from 2007 to 2010 and
then
 they increased until 2012.
To begin
 with, in 2007 around 6
millions
Change to singular
million
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visitors
 came to the National Gallery and there was a steady rise through the years reaching almost 16
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 in 2012.
Moreover
, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who went to
British
Add an article
the British
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museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 in 2007 were close to 12
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. There was a sudden drop
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
people
 in 2008 reaching 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, which increased slowly until 2012 and reached around 14
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Victoria and Albert
Museum
was
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were
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 the most popular in 2007 with close to 13
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 persons who visited the
museum
 followed by a significant decline between 2009 and 2010 with around
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
. After 2010 the number rise to 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 in 2012.
Submitted by dorachilleos on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum, visitors, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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