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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Teenagers are spending too much time on computers and this will lead to a severe problem in their mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#teenagers #time #computers #health
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The advancement of technology has made people, especially, the young ones, spend most of their time on the computer and other related gadgets. Some people believe
this
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 will cause severe mental and physical health deficiencies. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reason why I support the notion. First and foremost, staying glued to the screen of computers for a long period has been linked to some conditions which include glaucoma, myalgia, arthralgia, migraine and some spine curvatures mostly among the youth.
For instance
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, as a nurse in the health sector working for a
while
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 now, in recent times as per my observation, a lot of adolescents report to the hospital with complaints of frequent headaches and various eye problems as compared to the previous years where these abnormalities were associated with adults.
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, children and teenagers using all their leisure hours playing games on their electronic gadgets
such
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 as iPad, mobile phones and so on are not able to build good interpersonal relationships with their friends and family.
However
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,
this
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 in the long run will affect their psychological state since they do not have the ability to share their concerns with others
hence
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 making them develop suicidal ideations.
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, the lack of establishing good relationships with others can make them become social deviants since they have no feelings for humanity. In conclusion,
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 most youngsters use the computer for educational and entertainment purposes, I think their screen time should be reduced to help prevent prolonged use of computer-related problems and
also
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 help build their social relationships
hence
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 improving their mental well-being.
Submitted by ashieelizabeth96 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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