IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pupils #dress #code #children #uniform
Over the recent years, there has been a growing debate that
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
show examples
 majority of educational institutions have special authoritarian guidelines in terms of
school
 attire.
Conversely
, others tend to consent students to wear
free style
Add a hyphen
free-style
show examples
 clothes. The objective of
this
 essay is to spell out both benefits and drawbacks of having a
uniform
. One of the primary mileage of following the same costumes throughout a
school
 is that it not only can obliterate economic disparities, but
also
 attain equality among educatees.
In other words
, if all
school
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 did not establish
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
, learners who come from well-to-do families would show off their latest brand
clothes
Change preposition
of clothes
show examples
.
As a result
, pupils who are from impecunious families would feel isolated and inferior to others.
Furthermore
,
school
uniform
 gives students a sense of belonging and pride in their respective schools.
For instance
, in my city, there is a prestigious
school
. Putting on the
school
’s
uniform
 means a pupil does have an extraordinary ability.
Thus
, pupils
also
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 to improve their academic performance,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
 some extent,
uniform
 influences
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them to study better.
In contrast
, abiding by
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 dress code may give rise to some adverse consequences. To be more precise, nowadays
school
 suits are high-priced. If 3-4
children
 who are from one family attend the same
school
, parents may not afford the outfit. At long
last
, it could cause some conflicts in families on account of
unaffordability
Correct article usage
the unaffordability
show examples
 of uniforms. Admittedly, having witnessed the argument,
children
 might have some psychological implications as, even every so often,
children
 may not want to study at
school
. What is more, forcing
children
 to dress up
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 might be
restriction
Add an article
a restriction
show examples
 for them in terms of
self- expression
Correct your spelling
self-expression
show examples
.
Thus
, some schools leave a choice
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
students’
Change noun form
students
show examples
 own. In conclusion, it can be said that notwithstanding the advantages of
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 several their minus sides
also
 should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by Murod / Maksud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • socio-economic differences
  • school spirit
  • unity
  • discipline
  • belonging
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • fashion-related distractions
  • academic performance
  • morning routine
  • comfort
  • financial burden
  • cultural differences
  • diverse backgrounds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: