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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news . They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development ?

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In recent years, technology developed very fast, people prefer to acquire news online than read newspapers or watch TV,
this
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 problem has become a major issue in our society. It is argued that surfing online is harmful to people, even though its advantages are obvious. I agree the limits exceed the benefits.I will give both sides' reasons in the following sentences. First of all, the decline in the audience to read newspapers is positive for the environment.
In other words
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, we can reduce the utilisation of paper.
For example
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, in the past years, we had to provide newspapers and magazines about deforestation,which is detrimental to our ecosystem.Another facet, we can acquire various knowledge through different applications online on mobile phones regardless of location, which is more convenient than before.
In addition
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, it is a way to save money when we read online
instead
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 of buying a newspaper or magazine.
Thus
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, the strengths of getting news online should be seen as contributions to a healthy society.
On the contrary
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,we should not ignore the drawbacks of using the
internet
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,especially teenagers.
For instance
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,children spend hours on the smartphone playing games,leading to physical and psychological problems.Another aspect,there is massive information on the
internet
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 that you can’t distinguish which is true or false,
therefore
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 it is easier to be deceived.
Furthermore
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,the security of the
internet
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 triggers a high concern,since there is no privacy on the
internet
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.To elaborate, you need to provide your personal information to register on a website, which might
be monitored
Wrong verb form
monitor
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 or detect your trace online for commercial purposes. In conclusion,
although
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 there is vast potential for surfing online, I completely believe that it is a negative development if people over-rely on it.I assert we should find a balance between its
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
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 and benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph connects logically to the next and that your ideas flow smoothly. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
task response
You have adequately addressed the task requirements, providing a balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects of obtaining news through the internet.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Democratizes access to information
  • Real-time updates
  • Misinformation
  • Diverse range of sources
  • Multiple perspectives
  • Critical thinking
  • Reinforce biases
  • Information overload
  • Decline of traditional media
  • Innovation and adaptation
  • Interactive forms of news consumption
  • Engagement
  • Echo chambers
  • Unverified information
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