Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is a well-known fact that
consumption
of unhealthy
food
items
can have detrimental effects towards an individual’s health and can
further
impact society. Many argue that one possible solution to
this
issue could be the imposition of
taxes
by the government on
such
food
items
,
while
another school of thought believe that
this
is not an effective solution.
This
essay outlines both these views and agrees that it is beneficial to tax unhealthy
food
. The primary reason to support the taxation of fast
food
could be the increase in the incidence of chronic diseases upon their
consumption
.
This
is because unhealthy
food
items
have high fat and sugar content and regular
consumption
of
such
food
is linked to the development of chronic illnesses
such
as diabetes and hypertension
hence
decreasing the quality of life.
Furthermore
, it can negatively affect the community as the
consumption
of unhealthy
food
leads to an unhealthy population and workforce.
As a result
,the effectiveness and quality of work is decreased.
Therefore
, the introduction of
taxes
on these
food
items
can be advantageous.
For example
, the sugar tax imposed on the manufacture of soft drinks in many countries has resulted in the reduction of their purchase.
On the contrary
, it can be unfair to enforce
taxes
on unhealthy
food
.
This
could be
due to
the fact that for some individuals, fast
food
is more affordable than their healthy counterparts.
Thus
, the
taxes
on
this
food
source would increase the costs and be cruel to them.
Additionally
, increased
taxes
would result in the collapse of the fast
food
industry. These companies contribute to the country’s economy and a sudden decline in the purchase of fast
food
due to
the imposition of
taxes
could result in financial instability and negatively affect the community. In conclusion,
although
the enforcement of
taxes
on unhealthy
food
is not necessary as it could be detrimental to certain people and companies, in my opinion,
taxes
have to be introduced on
such
food
items
to discourage people from buying them.
Moreover
, money made from
this
kind of taxation could be used to educate the public on the benefits of a balanced diet and introduce subsidies for healthy
food
.
Submitted by Writing8 on

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task response
To further improve your task response, ensure that your argument is more balanced, offering equal weight to both sides of the discussion before establishing your opinion. Additionally, consider addressing potential counter-arguments to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between points. For example, use phrases like 'In addition to this,' or 'On the other hand,' to guide the reader through your argument more clearly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task response
You have provided a clear and complete response to the task, covering both perspectives thoroughly and offering your own opinion effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay features both an introduction and a conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. The main points you presented are well-supported and clearly articulated.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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