Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

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It is opined by several people keeping pets is essential for juveniles
while
others argue it seems dangerous and unhealthy. In my opinion, I strongly agree that taking pets can nurture children better.
To begin
with, tamed beats
such
as dogs or cats have been living with humanity since the medieval ages. Well-trained pets
such
as K9 can not only be best friends but
also
support owners in daily life.
For example
, life-saving canines have been reported to save
tamer
Replace the word
tamers
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in critical times several times.
In addition
, adolescents who thrive with the friendly animals beside them surprisingly tend to develop high emotional intelligence and empathy.
This
is because they will learn to domesticate and take care of
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
through interaction between them.
On the other hand
, the increase of news about dogs which injures the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
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accidentally
rises
Correct your spelling
raises
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concerns and makes them reconsider the issue of the rising
pet
Fix the agreement mistake
number of pets
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despite living with them for their entire life.
For example
, strong canines
such
as Siberian huskies require activities that can release high energy
otherwise
they will destroy furniture
instead
Rephrase
apply
show examples
leading to a catastrophe in the house.
Moreover
,
Due to
the rising of global warming, many creatures are affected by high temperatures resulting in uncontrollable behaviour.
This
can be solved by a suitable environment and proper measures from the government.
For instance
, the government should issue policies to handle stray animals efficiently to reduce the pet accident rate.
To conclude
,
although
taking care of a dog or cat brings tremendous benefits to a child, we still need to study the knowledge of creatures to have an effective method to deal with them.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the task, but you could provide a more balanced discussion by presenting and analyzing both sides of the argument more thoroughly. When discussing the risks of having pets, make sure to consider the specific dangers to children as well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. To improve, consider using linking words and phrases more consistently throughout your essay to enhance the overall coherence of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
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