Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A group of individuals presents the view that
advertisement
is a powerful tool to persuade
people
to purchase goods,
while
others believe that it loses its effectiveness. I strongly agree with the former opinion.
This
essay will expound on both attitudes and state my view on why I agree with the first statement. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that advertising still has significant effects in convincing
people
to buy new
products
. Marketing is an integral part of a successful business to introduce a new product to
people
and convince them to buy it.
For instance
, if my memory serves me right, it was about a couple of months ago when I was scrolling down my Instagram page and I came across an
advertisement
about a new show by Nike brand in which Cristiano Ronaldo wore
this
new show and talked about how comfortable and appropriate it is either for walking or running,
therefore
, I was really tempted to have one of those Nike shoes for myself. After a
while
, I read in the news how
this
advertisement
has successfully raised the selling rate of those types of shoes.
Moreover
, the introduction of state-of-the-art
products
with novel applications that most
people
may not be familiar with
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is another great duty of marketing. The more
people
know about how these new
products
can be able to make their lives easier , the more they may feel the urgent need to purchase them. Generally, the power of advertising in persuading
people
to have new
products
can not be underestimated.
On the other hand
, another group claims that
due to
the huge amounts of advertisements,
people
do not pay attention to them.They insist that most of us are not interested in watching the
advertisement
, even if they become more fancy day by day.
Nevertheless
, I do not find it convincing as marketing is an indispensable part of each successful business.Thereby, most companies dedicate a huge amount of their budget to produce an impressive
advertisement
which can attract more buyers for their
products
. To summarize,
while
people
may vary in their opinions, I still believe in the power of
advertisement
in not only offering new
products
to the market but
also
in elevating the rate of sales.
Furthermore
, the huge investment of companies in advertising is an obvious indicator of its effectiveness.
Submitted by zshahhosein on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the points are developed and supported in a logical manner.
task achievement
While the essay's progression is mostly logical, be cautious of minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues such as missing spaces after commas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion and clearly states the writer's opinion.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as the Nike advertisement featuring Cristiano Ronaldo, are relevant and help support the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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