Parents should encourage children spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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day and age, many parents force their
children
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to concentrate too much on academics. Others oppose that
children
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should spend more
time
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doing kinesthetic activities.
Although
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studying performance at school is of great importance, I strongly advocate parents advise their offspring to engage more in physical exercise. On the one hand, people may argue that at the early period of life, there is nothing more essential for students than learning. Focusing on academic training aids them
to get
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in getting
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higher results at school;
as a result
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, they are prone to
get
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getting
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better jobs in the future.
For instance
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, employers de facto tend to choose candidates with more excellent academic profiles.
Therefore
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, it goes without saying why many parents require their offspring to pay full attention to their schooling tasks.
On the other hand
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, doing exercise plays a crucial role not only in the physical but in the mental growth of a child.
Firstly
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, regarding physical health,
involving
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being involved
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in more movement prevents youngsters from having a sedentary lifestyle, which may lead to numerous ailments
such
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as obesity, stroke and coronary heart diseases in their later lives.
For example
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,
according to
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a study from the University of Sydney, if a minor spends too much
time
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sitting at a computer, he will get 50% more chances of getting coronary thrombosis from the age of 40 than their peers who regularly play sports from a tender age.
Secondly
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, participating in sports is
also
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advantageous to form
children
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's cognitive abilities. They are capable of acquiring a sense of community
as well as
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competitive and cooperative abilities.
Hence
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, doing exercise is beneficial for both physical and mental development in childhood.
To conclude
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, despite the fact that in
this
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competitive society,
children
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will enjoy a leg up in many competitions thanks to having better academic results, I believe spending more
time
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joining kinesthetic activities is of great help for every child's well-rounded growth.
However
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, it is better if they can allocate
time
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properly to both studies and sports.
Submitted by mintu258 on

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Task Response
Ensure to address the question directly and provide a clear opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices to better connect ideas within and between sentences.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary to include more precise and varied expressions.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use a wider variety of complex structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
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