IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The
environment
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 is a crucial source of maintaining the ecosystem on the earth which human beings need. If it is clean and healthy, our life keeps going well. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for the
environment
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,
while
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 others think that individuals ought to be to care of . In my opinion,
both
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 views are partially right,
although
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both
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 governments and people are accountable for it.
However
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, the essay will
further
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 discuss
both
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 facets of a proposal with an appropriate example and will reach a logical conclusion.
To begin
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 with, the authorities should impose some strict rules to protect it.
For example
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, free car days are set up by states to prevent the pollution which can be emitted by vehicles.
Furthermore
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, it can allow the factories to use renewable energy
instead
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 of fossil fuels which can cause poisonous gasses.
As a result
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, the rate of damage to the
environment
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 can be reduced by taking
such
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 actions.
On the other hand
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, some humans who think the government is the sole source of environmental safety are not so right. Because of some disadvantages which individuals manage whether not being aware or knowing. If they obey the rules set up by governments, it will be a great way to solve
this
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 problem.
For example
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, not use their private cars on free car days illegally or not throw away their garbage on the surface of the earth.
Nevertheless
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, they should leave them in the special bins which are placed there.
Therefore
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, the governments should place these dust bins to put their garbage in them.
To sum up
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,
both
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 sides can not be neglected. Preventing pollution of the
environment
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 may be obviously hard without
both
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 government and individual help.
While
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 the authorities should impose strict laws, individuals can obey their rules.

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General Advice
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical mistakes and improve the smoothness of your sentence structures for a more polished outcome.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical capabilities, which can enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific, real-world examples to back up your points, providing more depth and persuasiveness to your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both views and provides a clear personal stance, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've made a good effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding and readability.
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