It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

#member #piece #technology #people #breakdown #relationships #communication

Currently

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,Currently

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it is quite prevalent to see that all members of the family have their personal devices. A good example is a mobile phone, a tablet, a computer or a laptop. There is a view that it will bring

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apply

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a crisis in relationships between family members. Personally, I strongly agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, youngsters spend plenty of their time surfing the Internet, even during school lessons, family dinners, meeting with friends and so on. They do not do their homework unless they have music in the background. Unfortunately, they get distracted easily and

have

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do have

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not excellent marks that their parents would like to see.

Therefore

, adults complained a lot and they have arguments with their children.

In addition

, before the invention of technology devices, folks spend a

lot

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oflot

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time together

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apply

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playing

sport

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sports

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games outside, watching dramas on the big screen and suchlike.

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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conrast

Correct your spelling

contrast

, nowadays people have an opportunity to entertain

online

Correct pronoun usage

themselves online

show examples

For instance

, watching films online or YouTube videos, reading ebooks, chatting with their peers, playing VR games and other things.

Thus

, family members can

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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rest alone without needing anyone else to

accompany

Correct pronoun usage

themaccompany

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Due to

this

, parents do not know a lot about their children's interests. In summary, it could be concluded that modern technology appliances not only improve people's

life

Replace the word

lives

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but worsen family communication.

Therefore

, I agree with the idea of the negative influence of

innovations

Replace the word

innovative

show examples

relationships. I believe that if young and adult people spend more time not online, families can become close-knit.

Submitted by gulnara.7676 on Fri Apr 07 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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