IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

when asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In recent years, when people have two choices between living non-working or working full-time. Some inhabitants assume that opting for non-working rather than choosing to
work
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. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement since non-working makes dwellers reduce their creativity and money isn’t enough for them to maintain extinction On the one hand, one of the benefits of living
while
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 working is earning a huge amount of money which is important for our life. Nowadays, it is evident that more and more inhabitants want to buy anything which they like.
Thus
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, money will be used and exhausted quickly
while
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 the income is not earned by dwellers who need
work
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. It results in not having enough finances to buy groceries which helps them maintain their extinction
On the other hand
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, the fear of a non-working lifestyle is their ability to create which will be alleviated after a long time they don’t
work
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 to keep it. It is the goal which they must undergo many experiences and processes in working. Creativity is important to them, it helps residents discover new things and makes society become more and more modern because we are living in the technological era.
Therefore
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, we don’t invent new research which is important we can’t develop if lack it
To sum up
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, almost all people around the world would always opt not to
work
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 when they are asked.
Nonetheless
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, I still keep my point of view that going to the workplace is more important and beneficial than working most of the time

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring paragraphs better for a clearer logical flow. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments. Instead of vague statements, incorporate concrete instances or data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt fully, discussing both the benefits of working and drawbacks of a non-working lifestyle.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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