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Band 6.5

Write about the following topic: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
Nowadays many criminals are not afraid to involve in criminal activities repeatedly after they are released from prison
due to
 a lack of punishment methods
as well as
governments
' unable to provide vocational training during their prison sentence. In
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
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 I will argue that if
governments
 can impose proper punishment methods and vocational training
this
 issue will be resolved within a period of time.
firstly
, the people who committed minor crimes are not punished
accordingly
due to
 lack of accommodation in prison cells and most judges are releasing them with a fine or with house arrest for a limited period of time.For ,instance a survey conducted by famous newspaper journalists the reports show especially young people who were in punish by house arrest are involved in repeated crimes as they did not receive their deserved punishment.
On the other hand
, the lack of opportunities in the job market these criminals are forced to do the crime again as they are not getting hired by any employer
due to
 their criminal history, therefor if
governments
 can provide them with proper training in
such
 as plumbing, carpentry, the mechanic will be a great opportunity for them to restart their life. in conclusion, I strongly believe that
governments
 should take the necessary action to solve
this
 issue
instead
 of thinking about how they make an efficient court system which will not benefit our society,
also
 for the Young criminal who was involved in crimes need to take fair decisions rather they send them to jail,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 those criminals become more violent in future if
governments
 do not do anything in near future.
Submitted by ixionks on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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