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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
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There are those who argue that when a
nation
Use synonyms
 is already rich, any additional growth in its
economy
Use synonyms
 will not make its citizens more gratified.
However
Linking Words
. I completely do not coincide with the same view.
To begin
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 with, the
nation
Use synonyms
's economic growth will open a vast of
work
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 to
people
Use synonyms
 in the working community as it attracts more local and foreign investors.
For instance
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, a famous shoe company will open a branch in a particular
country
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it needs high numbers of employees to fill vacant and available job positions.
Consequently
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, more
people
Use synonyms
 will get more chances and
opportunities
Use synonyms
 to be employed and some might even get promoted.
Hence
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, more job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 mean more satisfaction for the citizen of a
country
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, by having growth in the
economy
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,
people
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 in the community will push themselves more to
work
Use synonyms
 together. As they can see the positive outcome of their camaraderie with each other. Study shows that if residents in a community or
country
Use synonyms
 are harmoniously working together, not only do they get a sense of companionship but
also
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 a more harmonious relationship.
Hence
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, they feel more gratified and more encouraged to
work
Use synonyms
 with each other. Since they not only get personal benefits out of it but
as well as
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 they can help their
economy
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 to grow.
To conclude
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, a
country
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's growing
economy
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 may pose great
work
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opportunities
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 and job vacancies within a
nation
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. As local and foreign investors will be enticed to open a branch of their product in a certain
country
Use synonyms
. On top of that, it can be a ladder to success for the residents as well. As they can be promoted to
a higher positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher position
higher positions
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, there are studies that showed that
people
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 in a
nation
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 can be stirred up more to form a harmonious relationship with each other as they can see the great benefit of it.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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