IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars?

#evidence #car #effects #people’s #health #people #cars
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A large amount of evidence shows that the growing
use
Use synonyms
 of
cars
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 is a major contributor to global warming
as well as
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has a negative effect on human health too. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss my views on how to reduce the
use
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 of
cars
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.
To begin
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 with , One possible approach would be to take a long-term view and subsidize electric
car
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use
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. Technology has come a long way and electric
cars
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 are safer to
use
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.
However
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 electric
cars
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 are increasing in popularity.
For Example
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 ,
In
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apply
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a recent survey done by the Time of India revealed that 70% of the young generation is willing to buy electric
cars
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 in future because the crude oil is too costly. Another possible approach is the government should invest more in public transport so that people who travel easily commute from one place to another place . Evidence shows that well-maintained, reliable, and frequent means of transport
such
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 as bus, and rail, are regularly used by the public.
In addition
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 ,
Add an article
the
a
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more immediate, cash-flow-positive solution is to directly discourage
car
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use
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. Increasing road taxes on people with more than two
cars
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, and road pricing schemes
such
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 as a traffic congestion charge during peak traffic times would reduce the number of non-essential
car
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 journeys and encourage people to
use
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 other forms of transport
such
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 as buses. In conclusion,
while
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car
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 emissions are a growing threat to both the health of the planet and individuals, electrifying
cars
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, mass transportation systems, and traffic management programs can help
to
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apply
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mitigate the issue in the short and long term.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay in a clear and logical way, connecting your ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases. It is evident that you have the capacity to construct well-organized paragraphs but there is room for improvement in terms of having a smoother flow and transitions between the points.
task achievement
You should ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While your essay does cover the basics, you can enhance your score by making sure to develop your main points further and provide a clearer, more comprehensive range of ideas to back up your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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