Advertising influence people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solution should be given?

#influence #people #clothes #shoes

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Today, we often witness attractive advertisements across all media channels, which promote the sale of new merchandise.

Subsequently

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this

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leads a few individuals

into buying

Change preposition

to buy

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goods impulsively, which they never intended to purchase, which results in financial distress.

This

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essay discusses the solution to

this

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situation.

Firstly

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, brands actively advertise attractive lifestyles that every individual wants to be part of, which many tend to follow as a new trend, so they don't feel left out.

This

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is evident

according to

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Addidas, a sports brand often endorsed by celebrities, that advertises football players

such

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as Lionel Messi to promote its new shoe lineup, which supporters end up purchasing to look like their idol. Often, prices of these promoted commodities are marked up comparatively higher than that of other products and its promotions are attractive, which mostly results in a poor buying decision made by the consumer, often leading many into a debt trap, a condition where an individual uses his credit card to pay for his another credit card. When an individual makes a decision to buy a product that he can't afford, it is considered to be a poor buying decision, which

subsequently

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results in financial distress.

This

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situation can easily be avoided by allocating specific budgets to different areas of interest, which

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

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a person to enjoy his activity in accordance with his income in a financially stable manner. To illustrate, I plan a monthly budget of 10% of my income on shopping for clothes, which allows me to purchase an item from my favourite brand every month, without hurting my savings and investments. In conclusion, if an individual is able to budget his finances in an orderly fashion

according to

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this

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income, he can safeguard himself from making poor purchasing decisions.

Submitted by rajitmadhar1299 on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need more clarity and focus. Ensure that each paragraph serves a clear purpose and contributes to the overall argument.

Task Achievement

The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and thorough analysis. Provide more detailed examples and analysis to support the points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Advertising influence people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solution should be given?

Fully explain your ideas

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as awhole

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?