nowadays ,people in most countries decide to have children later in life. why do the do so? do the advantages of this trend outweight the disadvantages?

#people #countries #children #life #do #trend #outweight

Having

children

is a huge commitment, yet many

peope

Correct your spelling

people

desires to have one.

However

, nowadays there is an increasing trend among adults in many countries to avoid having offspring until later in life. In

may

Correct your spelling

show examples

opinion the benefits of

this

trend outweigh the drawbacks.

To begin

with, in countries like Indonesia, young couples are expected to have

children

soon after they married. Some people argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

having

children

when we are still young could be a huge benefit.

For example

, when

children

grew up we may have more time to spend together as a family.

However

, newly married couples are still finding their way to adapt to a new chapter of their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

. There are many things that should be arranged between the two married persons,

such

as where to live.

Thus

, in

this

stage, the presence of a child may add pressure on them.

Therefore

, I think it is beneficial to avoid having

children

until everything has been sorted out.

In addition

, as a

parent

Add a comma

,parent

show examples

we have to prepare a steady financial source as

children

will need to have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

education and health care insurance.

Hence

, some people including me, strongly believe that it may be the best decision to have a child later in life when we are financially stable and mentally prepared. In conclusion,

although

some people may think that it is a waste of time, having

children

later after a couple is mentally and financially prepared may result in a happy and stable family.

Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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nowadays ,people in most countries decide to have children later in life. why do the do so? do the advantages of this trend outweight the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.