IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

#people #clothes #case
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The
fashion
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 industry continues to bombard society with a non-stop stream of powerful imagery, colours, sounds and styles, in order to extort money from us. Keeping up with the latest trends may feel like a constant task, and what may be fashionable
one
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 minute may be out of style the next.
However
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,
this
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 does not stop
people
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 from buying and wearing new and expensive items of clothing or jewellery in the pursuit of style, even if it is potentially to their detriment.
This
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 essay discusses why
people
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 strive to wear fashionable clothing, and why the pursuit of
fashion
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 may not always be a positive force in
people
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's lives. Humans are inherently social creatures, and it has often been recognised that
people
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 are able to feel included if they are wearing clothes that are currently in
fashion
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. For inclusion in certain socio-economic groups, wearing the 'appropriate' brands guarantees a sense of belonging and may act as a gatekeeper to membership within that group. With
this
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 in mind, it would be sensible to assume that* there may be strong psychological factors underlying a person's choice of clothing that may have little to do with the actual garments.
However
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, as a corollary,
people
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's behaviour may be strongly influenced by the perceived threat of social exclusion if
one
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 does not conform to accepted notions of
fashion
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. In fact,
one
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 might assume that the endless cycle of purchasing new and expensive clothes in order to remain 'fashionable' might be detrimental both to a person's bank balance
as well as
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 their sense of self, if
such
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 behaviour is driven mainly by the fear of becoming a social outcast.
Such
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 behaviour is well attested in studies on* teenage girls
in particular
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, for whom inclusion within a social structure is paramount to their developing sense of identity and self.
This
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 can cause a great deal of stress for parents who are not able to afford the latest trends and brands demanded by their children.
To sum up
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,
one
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 might conclude that the pursuit of
fashion
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 may well impact negatively on society as a whole, particularly if
one
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 has to manage to stay in
fashion
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while
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 on a budget. It would be preferable if
fashion
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 companies could promote trends that are more accessible to the wider population who may not have the time or resources to keep up with the latest trend.
Submitted by dayoung000929 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • express individuality
  • boost confidence
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • designer labels
  • cultural icons
  • art and creativity
  • financial strain
  • overspend
  • fast fashion
  • culture of waste
  • economic growth
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