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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others argue that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #health #medicines #lifestyle
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in an accelerating world, there is an age of growth in health problems and some people believe that the only way to deal with issues is by creating healthy habits or putting a strain on medical necessities, in the following statement I will define the advantages of both views.
To begin
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 with,public health becoming a major matter and people all over the world suffering from it,
such
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 as diabetes, lung issues and heart attack, to prevent these sorts of diseases the government should allocate funds by creating a fitness centre or opening medicine shops.Fitness areas can teach locals how to belt healthy patterns in their daily routines,
as well as
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, avoid chronic diseases but when it comes to tablets
this
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 kind of way to treat people's suffering is not optional
due to
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 the fact that medicines cannot recover humans fully from sicknesses.
On the other hand
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, research illustrated that mainly all medical centres utilize medicine to treat hospitalized patients with dangerous illnesses.
Instead
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, it would be better if the community promoted a healthy lifestyle in order to improve a person's well-being,
such
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 as drawing the line to bad habits like smoking that can reduce lung cancer or consuming alcoholic liquids.Building good habits can stop insomnia and even extend the horizon of the brain. In my conception,the fact about treating patients with medicine is not productive,
instead
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, it is good to have a healthy lifestyle to avoid hazardous illnesses and live meaningful in our own lives
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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logical structure
Improve the overall structure by clearly outlining the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It's essential for the reader to easily follow your argument.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is supported by relevant examples or explanations for better coherence.
complete response
Your essay partially addresses the key aspects of the task; however, providing a more direct comparison between the advancement of medicine and the promotion of a healthy lifestyle could enhance clarity and depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas. While you've presented some arguments, they could be more compelling with further explanation and specific examples to support your claims.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to add credibility and depth to your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or real-world implementations of healthy lifestyles and medical advancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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