Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring ather nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #olympics #games #events #ather #nations #waste #money

Many individuals believe that the

Olympic

games

are exciting events that bridge the gap between different nations

while

others think that the Olympics leads to a waste of

money

and it is better to spend on other things.

This

writer agrees with the former opinion

due to

its purpose of strengthening the international relationship and will discuss both views in

this

writing essay. It is evident that

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

are a good way to boost the relationship between several

countries

. Spectators from all over the world will gather in

countries

where the

Olympic

games

are organised in order to take part in these events and learn about the culture.

According to

this

, people will know more about the unique culture and more people will decide to visit those

countries

Due to

this

, people will love these

countries

and the gap between nations will be erased.

By contrast

, investing in

facilities

which are used for the Olympics is expensive. To build a stadium with a large storage will cost a massive amount of

money

because it requires a huge consumption of area.

Due to

this

, governments have to relocate houses and spend

money

on constructing these buildings.

Instead

, allocating

money

to improving other

facilities

for citizens like health services and creating houses is more useful. If governments can improve these

facilities

, the crime rates and unemployment will be decreased.

To conclude

while

allocating

money

to other

facilities

benefits governments,

this

writer believes that investing in the

Olympic

games

is a better option.

Besides

helping to bring nations together, it

also

develops the financial aspects.

Thu Jun 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but it could benefit from more detailed and sophisticated linking phrases to enhance coherence. Try using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'However,' and 'For instance,' to create smoother transitions between ideas.

task achievement

While your essay provides a response to the task, it lacks depth in some places. For example, you could provide specific examples or more detailed explanations to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points you will discuss, which sets the stage for the reader.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. This approach is very effective in addressing the task comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present day, the development of technology especially in the information and communication fields is undeniable. Everyone from different ages and statuses including children already owns a smartphone or other communication devices because it is likely to be less expensive nowadays. The COVID-19 pandemic that happened at the end of 2019 also made a significant culture in society such as work from anywhere and online classes for students. Some people believe that this development has a negative impact as it could decrease real-life interaction and increase smartphone addiction. But in my opinion, this phenomenon has a bigger positive impact. In this essay, I will elaborate on the issue and also depict my point of view.
7.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
People in the countryside have started to migrate to modern and big cities. This is believed to be due to a modernization process of the world and its general society. It is argued that this occurrence is considered an overall positive development. To support this argument, the impacts of industrialization and the benefits of a more advanced education system will be analyzed further through this essay.
7
band
Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrollment officer. In your letter • explain why you are writing • describe your circumstances • ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enroll in the course
I am writing to express why I want to join the CSC200 course. I am a university sophomore student who major in English. Although my major is not related to electronic technology, I still want to take computer classes, and also I have read some books on computers, so I think that I can quickly enter a learning state and mode. At the same time, I know it is designed for students with a certain base in the course, but I believe in my abilities, so I think I deserve this opportunity.
5.5
band
The illustrations below show how coffee is sometimes produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
According to the picture, it can be revealed that there are twelve stages overall in coffee production. The main feature of the caffeine industry through the provided data is that it incorporates two types of coffee, roasted and non-roasted.
6.5
band
Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that more funds should be allocated to roads and motorways rather than to public transport system. I am in complete disagreement with this opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring ather nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The illustrations below show how coffee is sometimes produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+