Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring ather nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #olympics #games #events #ather #nations #waste #money

Many individuals believe that the

Olympic

games

are exciting events that bridge the gap between different nations

while

others think that the Olympics leads to a waste of

money

and it is better to spend on other things.

This

writer agrees with the former opinion

due to

its purpose of strengthening the international relationship and will discuss both views in

this

writing essay. It is evident that

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

are a good way to boost the relationship between several

countries

. Spectators from all over the world will gather in

countries

where the

Olympic

games

are organised in order to take part in these events and learn about the culture.

According to

this

, people will know more about the unique culture and more people will decide to visit those

countries

Due to

this

, people will love these

countries

and the gap between nations will be erased.

By contrast

, investing in

facilities

which are used for the Olympics is expensive. To build a stadium with a large storage will cost a massive amount of

money

because it requires a huge consumption of area.

Due to

this

, governments have to relocate houses and spend

money

on constructing these buildings.

Instead

, allocating

money

to improving other

facilities

for citizens like health services and creating houses is more useful. If governments can improve these

facilities

, the crime rates and unemployment will be decreased.

To conclude

while

allocating

money

to other

facilities

benefits governments,

this

writer believes that investing in the

Olympic

games

is a better option.

Besides

helping to bring nations together, it

also

develops the financial aspects.

Thu Jun 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but it could benefit from more detailed and sophisticated linking phrases to enhance coherence. Try using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'However,' and 'For instance,' to create smoother transitions between ideas.

task achievement

While your essay provides a response to the task, it lacks depth in some places. For example, you could provide specific examples or more detailed explanations to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points you will discuss, which sets the stage for the reader.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. This approach is very effective in addressing the task comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring ather nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view.

Some university student want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. other believes it is more important to give all their times and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.