Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there is a common belief that academic
books
should be only materials reading for
children
.
However
, others believe that
children
should read other
books
according to
their pleasure
instead
of educational field.
Although
reading only academics has a positive impact, I do not agree that
this
will be good for raising
children
. On the one hand, the principal reason why some people recommend
pupils
to read only educational literature is they believe it has a good outcome in academic achievement.
This
is because
children
tend to focus on material
that is
related to academics. They will be accustomed to the field that they learn in school.
Furthermore
, reading for pleasure e.g. fiction
books
can waste their time.
For instance
,
pupils
who won the Olympics of Physics only read material that has a correlation with physics to develop their knowledge and they tend to avoid spending much time reading funny stories.
On the other hand
, reading
books
for pleasure has a lot of benefits.
First,
children
can expand their knowledge
that is
not learnt in the school.
This
means that the academic curriculum is given for general purposes.
Moreover
,
this
strategy can develop their capabilities
such
as vocabulary, making decisions, and leadership. Even though
this
method does not have a direct correlation. It can support
children
in academics purpose and their future.
For example
,
pupils
who read detective stories have good analytical thinking to support their educational subjects. All things considered, focusing on reading academic
books
can be beneficial for
children
.
Nevertheless
, I believe that reading other material has many advantages that can support
pupils
in the future.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt thoroughly. While you've discussed both views and given your opinion, integrating more specific examples and deeper analysis would strengthen the completeness of your response. Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Using a variety of transition words can help manage this. Although you have a logical structure, enhancing the connection between main points will improve your essay's readability. Consider outlining your essay beforehand to ensure each paragraph seamlessly leads into the next, reinforcing your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Including a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary could enhance the sophistication of your essay. This not only engages the reader more but also demonstrates your language proficiency. Additionally, make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and encapsulate your main points effectively.
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