Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #books #pleasure

Nowadays, there is a common belief that academic

books

should be only materials reading for

children

However

, others believe that

children

should read other

books

according to

their pleasure

instead

of educational field.

Although

reading only academics has a positive impact, I do not agree that

this

will be good for raising

children

. On the one hand, the principal reason why some people recommend

pupils

to read only educational literature is they believe it has a good outcome in academic achievement.

This

is because

children

tend to focus on material

that is

related to academics. They will be accustomed to the field that they learn in school.

Furthermore

, reading for pleasure e.g. fiction

books

can waste their time.

For instance

pupils

who won the Olympics of Physics only read material that has a correlation with physics to develop their knowledge and they tend to avoid spending much time reading funny stories.

On the other hand

, reading

books

for pleasure has a lot of benefits.

First,

children

can expand their knowledge

that is

not learnt in the school.

This

means that the academic curriculum is given for general purposes.

Moreover

this

strategy can develop their capabilities

such

as vocabulary, making decisions, and leadership. Even though

this

method does not have a direct correlation. It can support

children

in academics purpose and their future.

For example

pupils

who read detective stories have good analytical thinking to support their educational subjects. All things considered, focusing on reading academic

books

can be beneficial for

children

Nevertheless

, I believe that reading other material has many advantages that can support

pupils

in the future.

Submitted by rifkiw1205 on Mon Mar 11 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt thoroughly. While you've discussed both views and given your opinion, integrating more specific examples and deeper analysis would strengthen the completeness of your response. Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, aim to improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Using a variety of transition words can help manage this. Although you have a logical structure, enhancing the connection between main points will improve your essay's readability. Consider outlining your essay beforehand to ensure each paragraph seamlessly leads into the next, reinforcing your thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

Including a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary could enhance the sophistication of your essay. This not only engages the reader more but also demonstrates your language proficiency. Additionally, make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and encapsulate your main points effectively.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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