some people think that mobiles are harmful for children , while others diagree. Discusse both side and give your opinion

#people #mobiles #children #diagree #discusse #side

Technology has evolved and impacted

this

current generation in various ways. A few numbers of people believe that smartphones cause bad effects on

children

, and I agree

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them with.

Although

mobile phones provide information and knowledge to them through different media and platforms. The negative outweighs the positive effects

such

as affecting the

children

's emotional state and the

time

they spend with family or friends. In

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I will

further

discuss

this

issue and provide my concluding view.

Firstly

, it is an undeniable fact that the Internet and mobile phones give

children

Add an article

the

show examples

plenty amount of information and learnings that people around them do not randomly provide.

For example

, videos on Youtube about

children

's songs and rhymes improve their cognitive skills.

In addition

, there are quite a few contents made especially for kids' basic knowledge that they can learn in advance

while

out they are out of school. In general, they absorb these data faster

due to

the colourful presentation and how convenient to access them on a small device.

Although

the advantages were mentioned above, there are people who are still not convinced that mobile devices are harmful to young audiences. One reason is it affects their patience, play and family

time

. What I mean by

this

children

who are given numerous hours of phone

use

Replace the word

users

show examples

tend to be impatient and irritated when they can't get what they want, which can lead to severe bad habits in the future.

Also

time

wasted on the internet

instead

of quality bonding with family and playing with friends may have a big impact on their character development in the long run. I strongly believe that the more we let these young generations engage in social platforms on the internet, it will greatly impact their way of life in the near future. In conclusion,

although

smart devices have many advantages

such

as the advancement of knowledge for

children

and acquiring information through various platforms, it is evident that the disadvantages outweigh these. An unstable emotional state is one of the major reasons,

secondly

, lack of

time

for playing and bonding with family could greatly impact their future development.

Submitted by mjdf0930 on Sun Apr 09 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that mobiles are harmful for children , while others diagree. Discusse both side and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should be banned. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such a ban.