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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that mobiles are harmful for children , while others diagree. Discusse both side and give your opinion

#people #mobiles #children #diagree #discusse #side
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Technology has evolved and impacted
this
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 current generation in various ways. A few numbers of people believe that smartphones cause bad effects on
children
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, and I agree
on
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apply
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them with.
Although
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 mobile phones provide information and knowledge to them through different media and platforms. The negative outweighs the positive effects
such
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 as affecting the
children
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's emotional state and the
time
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 they spend with family or friends. In
this
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 ,
essay
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an essay
the essay
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 I will
further
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 discuss
this
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 issue and provide my concluding view.
Firstly
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, it is an undeniable fact that the Internet and mobile phones give
children
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the
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plenty amount of information and learnings that people around them do not randomly provide.
For example
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, videos on Youtube about
children
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's songs and rhymes improve their cognitive skills.
In addition
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, there are quite a few contents made especially for kids' basic knowledge that they can learn in advance
while
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 out they are out of school. In general, they absorb these data faster
due to
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 the colourful presentation and how convenient to access them on a small device.
Although
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 the advantages were mentioned above, there are people who are still not convinced that mobile devices are harmful to young audiences. One reason is it affects their patience, play and family
time
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. What I mean by
this
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 is
children
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 who are given numerous hours of phone
use
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users
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 tend to be impatient and irritated when they can't get what they want, which can lead to severe bad habits in the future.
Also
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,
time
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 wasted on the internet
instead
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 of quality bonding with family and playing with friends may have a big impact on their character development in the long run. I strongly believe that the more we let these young generations engage in social platforms on the internet, it will greatly impact their way of life in the near future. In conclusion,
although
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 smart devices have many advantages
such
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 as the advancement of knowledge for
children
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 and acquiring information through various platforms, it is evident that the disadvantages outweigh these. An unstable emotional state is one of the major reasons,
secondly
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, lack of
time
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 for playing and bonding with family could greatly impact their future development.
Submitted by mjdf0930 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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