The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.

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The diagram illustrates the steps required for processing

cocoa

Use synonyms

beans

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

process is composed of three key steps, commencing with picking the

cocoa

Use synonyms

beans

Use synonyms

and culminating in delivering finished commodities to consumers. The first phrase involving whole

beans

Use synonyms

is selected during the picking process before being dried to extract their shell.

Next,

Linking Words

those

beans

Use synonyms

are pressed to make

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor, which

then

Linking Words

experiences one of the two approaches, namely

further

Linking Words

pressing or

further

Linking Words

refining. In the former way, the liquor is continued to be pressed to make either

cocoa

Use synonyms

cocoa

Use synonyms

cake. Or else,

this

Linking Words

alcohol is refined before it reaches the industrial chocolate stage, where sugar and

cocoa

Use synonyms

are combined.

The next step is

Linking Words

that,

while

Linking Words

the

cocoa

Use synonyms

cake experiences a grinding step to make

cocoa

Use synonyms

powder to be marketed to customers, the

cocoa

Use synonyms

will be switched to the industry to make cakes and drinks. The finished chocolate products are manufactured from the final processing step of industrial chocolate before it is sold to the public.

dangtranquoctrung01Sun Apr 09 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cocoa, beans with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

168 words

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The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?

Using animals to test the safety of cosmetics or drugs used for medical reasons is never acceptable. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

In many countries, more and more choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?