IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people claim that young people are more attractive than older people in business or in the workplace. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #business #workplace
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A vast majority of the population is under the impression today that the younger
generation
 is more attractive than the elder
generation
 in business and the workplace. In
this
 essay, I will highlight the reasons behind
this
 viewpoint and express my opinion
at the end
 on why I feel an effective balance needs to maintain between the two. To commence with, many
people
 feel that youngsters are more enthusiastic.
According to
 them, younger
people
 can provide better ideas and positive energy to the company than the elder population which in turn will help the company to achieve desired results.
This
 situation can be explained with the example of Google and Facebook. These companies have more than 80 per cent of their staff aged less than 30 years. When the management of these companies was asked about the hiring pattern, they explained that old
people
 have a laid-back approach and are not punctual.
On the contrary
, there is the public who feels that the young
generation
 can never replace the older one. The kind of experience and knowledge these
people
 possess is unmatchable. Experienced professionals can turn difficult situations into an opportunity and can help the company achieve better results. Examples of firms which have a higher percentage of the elder
generation
 in their workforce are PWC and KPMG. After taking into consideration both viewpoints, I feel that an effective balance needs to maintain between the different sections of society. Youth can provide companies with better energy and the elder segment can provide firms with their experience.
Thus
, In my opinion, an effective combination can help teams to achieve better results.
Submitted by caamandeepsinghsaluja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Trends
  • Agility
  • Adaptability
  • Strategic framework
  • Sustainable innovation
  • Age diversity
  • Digital native
  • Problem-solving methods
  • Working environment
  • Technological advancements
  • Industry experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: