IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The world today uses more renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 than ever before since it contributes to the preservation of the environment and is economically sound.
This
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 essay will examine both views, but personally, I strongly advocate the adoption of renewable sources of
energy
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. On the one hand, opponents of renewables claim that the world could face disruptions to the power supply should they be fully adopted.
This
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 is largely
due to
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 the fact that many green
energy
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 technologies currently in use depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena. To take the fastest growing sector as an example, solar panels can only be used in the presence of strong and direct sunlight, and a cloudy few days could still result in a blackout if we depended entirely on solar power; something
that is
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 unlikely to occur today given current oil stockpiles.
However
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, fossil fuels are a larger threat to
energy
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 security since they are certainly finite in quantity,
whereas
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 renewable
energy
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 is effectively infinite.
Furthermore
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, problems of unpredictability can be mitigated by improving battery machinery (to create a larger buffer), building more renewable
energy
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 generators (to increase supply during ideal conditions) and improving current technologies (to increase efficiency),
such
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 as in the moving solar panel example. Proponents of renewables,
therefore
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 claim that they are the most economically sound option.
To conclude
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,
while
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 many may believe that green technologies are a threat to
energy
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 security, the fossil fuels they frequently promote are a greater threat, and renewables are in fact the only sound option, both economically and environmentally.

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task response
Ensure that your examples and arguments directly relate to the topic and address all aspects of the question.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally clear and logical, but consider using more linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable
  • Renewable energy sources
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Hydro energy
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Global warming
  • Climate change
  • Technology advancements
  • Economies of scale
  • Intermittent
  • Variable
  • Capital investment
  • Energy infrastructure
  • Energy storage technology
  • Energy supply
  • Energy security
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