Some people think that parents have an powerful influence in child's life, while the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part of child's development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
parents
Use synonyms
will partly have an effect on their
children
Use synonyms
. But I do agree that factors outside the kids' home play a more crucial role in their improvement. On the one hand, the family atmosphere could somehow influence a child's development. Since almost every kid grows up with their mother and father, they are more likely to think that what their
parents
Use synonyms
say is always right.
Also
Linking Words
, different families' financial conditions may bring their
children
Use synonyms
various qualities of education.
For instance
Linking Words
, partners the kid whose father is a wealthy person meets always have wealthier
parents
Use synonyms
than the poor guy's child meets.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the different methods used by different kinds of
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have a considerable influence on different
children
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I argue that the outside factors count more to the child's development. Childs would spend far more time studying at school rather than staying at home since junior school. Most of the difficulties they meet daily are eventually solved with the help of their teachers or classmates
instead
Linking Words
of their
parents
Use synonyms
. So they are more likely to imitate others' methods to tackle different problems, which will have a crucial effect on their development.
Also
Linking Words
, as the Internet grows rapidly, kids now have more sources to receive all kinds of information, which will make them suspicious about their
parents
Use synonyms
' opinions,
thus
Linking Words
influencing their growing up.
Although
Linking Words
the
parents
Use synonyms
do influence their
children
Use synonyms
, I totally agree that the outside factors outweigh the inside ones.
Submitted by fzlnufe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: