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Band 6

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010
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As the chart displays information about male and female
teachers
Use synonyms
 in six types of educational institutions in the UK in 2010. It shows what percentage of
teachers
Use synonyms
 were male and what percentage were female.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the chart that
women
Use synonyms
 were more predominated in the maternal role of teaching young children.
However
Linking Words
, men were outstanding in teaching at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher level of education. the majority of
women
Use synonyms
 were prominent in
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 for children. The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of female
teachers
Use synonyms
 in nursery
school
Use synonyms
 was approximately 95 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The situation was
similarly
Linking Words
 one-sided in primary
school
Use synonyms
, where over 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
 were
women
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in secondary
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
,school
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 the number of
women
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly outweighed
than
Change preposition
by
show examples
 men. The data represented the proportion of female
teachers
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 to be roughly 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Men and
Women
Use synonyms
 were equally represented in teaching college, which was 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, males held a larger share in teaching
higher level
Add a hyphen
higher-level
show examples
 institutions.
This
Linking Words
 was particularly true for universities, where twice as many males were teaching staff than females.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, women, school, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
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