IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Providing a holiday for women who have a baby is generally done all over the world. Sometimes, people discuss what brings advantages more than disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I believe that
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave does more good than harm. On the one hand,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave definitely produces a negative influence on
companies
Use synonyms
 and women. From the former,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave will impact the efficiency of
companies
Use synonyms
 and organizations. Because they need to take care of their child and keep their rest, female employees are unable to efficiently finish their
work
Use synonyms
 even if somebody will make
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if
companies
Use synonyms
 have to provide
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave to female workers,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to a terrible situation which is more discrimination aimed at females appearing in the
work
Use synonyms
 market. The HR of
companies
Use synonyms
 will consider hiring more male employees in order to avoid the problem of efficiency mentioned earlier.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is no doubt that
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave for employees will make a great benefit.
Firstly
Linking Words
, females can gain better rest and recover. From pregnancy to giving birth to a child, it is extremely difficult and even full of danger for a woman.
As a result
Linking Words
, women should recover for several months after the birth of their baby rather than go back to
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave give the new baby the best care. Breastfeeding was proven that the best way to help the health of children.
Also
Linking Words
, the mother pays more attention than any family members or nurses so that child can healthily grow up. In conclusion,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave will bring more advantages, because the negative influence mentioned before can be effectively resolved and avoided. Specifically, governments make some policies to avoid discrimination in occupation. Meanwhile, modern technology,
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones, laptops, software and so on, can well solve the problem of working during
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly think that
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave makes a more positive influence.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: