With growing population in cities , more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space . Do you think this is a positive or negative developement?

#population #cities #people #homes #space #developement

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It is widely believed those who live in a tiny

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

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in the

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

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will encounter several challenges. Personally, I completely agree with

this

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idea because there is a negative development to

live

Wrong verb form

living

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in houses

that is

Linking Words

not big enough.

To begin

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with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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small houses can have an impact on your health. The lack of outside space will prevent people from absorbing vital nutrients like vitamin D and make breathing more challenging.

This

Linking Words

means that those who live in

such

Linking Words

a small house will face physical underdevelopment, especially children.

For example

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according to

Linking Words

a Medical journal report, up to 53% of children have rickets because of living in narrow spaces in big cities in Thailand.

Furthermore

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, convenience among family members is reduced when living together in a tight space.

This

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is because most families have different generations living together and they have their own things to do. Spaces that

too

Add a missing verb

are too

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narrow will make it difficult for them to concentrate to complete what needs to be done.

For instance

Linking Words

Add an article

the kid

a kid

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kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

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will not be able to play football with their friends in the small house because it will be possible to break

the

Change the word

their

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glasses, and the old will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

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to focus on reading

Correct article usage

the newspaper

show examples

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

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due to

Linking Words

the noise from the children. In conclusion, sharing a small home sometimes brings family members closer.

However

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, I am convinced that there will be numerous challenges

such

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a health issues

Correct the article-noun agreement

health issues

a health issue

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or loss of convenience in your own house.

This

Linking Words

requires people to change to a more suitable living environment.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Mon Apr 10 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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With growing population in cities , more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space . Do you think this is a positive or negative developement?

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for students, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion..

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?