With growing population in cities , more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space . Do you think this is a positive or negative developement?

#population #cities #people #homes #space #developement

It is widely believed those who live in a tiny

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

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in the

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

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will encounter several challenges. Personally, I completely agree with

this

idea because there is a negative development to

live

Wrong verb form

living

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in houses

that is

not big enough.

To begin

with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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small houses can have an impact on your health. The lack of outside space will prevent people from absorbing vital nutrients like vitamin D and make breathing more challenging.

This

means that those who live in

such

a small house will face physical underdevelopment, especially children.

For example

according to

a Medical journal report, up to 53% of children have rickets because of living in narrow spaces in big cities in Thailand.

Furthermore

, convenience among family members is reduced when living together in a tight space.

This

is because most families have different generations living together and they have their own things to do. Spaces that

too

Add a missing verb

are too

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narrow will make it difficult for them to concentrate to complete what needs to be done.

For instance

Add an article

the kid

a kid

show examples

kid

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kids

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will not be able to play football with their friends in the small house because it will be possible to break

the

Change the word

their

show examples

glasses, and the old will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to focus on reading

Correct article usage

the newspaper

show examples

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

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due to

the noise from the children. In conclusion, sharing a small home sometimes brings family members closer.

However

, I am convinced that there will be numerous challenges

such

a health issues

Correct the article-noun agreement

health issues

a health issue

show examples

or loss of convenience in your own house.

This

requires people to change to a more suitable living environment.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Mon Apr 10 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With growing population in cities , more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space . Do you think this is a positive or negative developement?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that humans are damaging seriously the environment. what are the causes? what should people do to solve this peoblem?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

More and more people are using a lot of online languages translation apps. Are there more advantages or more disadvantages of such services.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?