IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they release from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #release #prison
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Research into criminal behaviour shows that a large number of criminals commit their next crime right after they release from prison.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 behaviour and
also
Linking Words
 will suggest some possible solutions to mitigate the risk. When an offender is released from prison, he is left to deal with life on his own. He has no means of earning to sustain himself and on numerous occasions, they become homeless. In plenty of cases, these individuals are without any emotional or family support as their dear ones turn a blind eye towards them. They suffer from illness due to extreme weather and are often hungry
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of money to buy food. In
such
Linking Words
 harsh conditions, they tend to resort to illegal means as a
last
Linking Words
 resort to get their hands on some money.
Hence
Linking Words
, they indulge in illicit activities to fight for their survival in his cruel world. To keep
this
Linking Words
 under control, governments and local authorities should devise a plan for adequate rehabilitation of these lawbreakers.
This
Linking Words
 should include lining up a reasonable job, affordable accommodation and easy access to counselling centres. All these arrangements must be made before the release.
This
Linking Words
 will ensure the physical and mental well-being of these individuals, and
consequently
Linking Words
, reduce the threat they pose to society. To recapitulate, the government is responsible for the well-being of the criminals and should take mandatory steps to ensure that proper support is provided to them once they are out in the world again.
This
Linking Words
 will not only reduce their chances of committing a crime again
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but may
also
Linking Words
 enable them to perform a positive role in society.
Submitted by abeera.ejaz1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: