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Band 6

In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines
Nowadays, it is argued that there is no need for food or products made from
animals
.
While
 I kind of agree that some kinds of those
things
 can be displaced by other materials, I believe that there is still a necessity to
use
animals
 for food and
use
 animal products. On the one hand, there are some reasons why some specific
things
 are no longer a must for us human beings. As technology grows rapidly, there is a substitute for
things
 like clothing or
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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baby toys. You can
use
 the
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 to play the roles
animals
 used to play.
Therefore
,
due to
 the fact that there is an urgent problem with the decrease in the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
habitats of
animals
 and the loss of biological variety, I do understand that many people would reckon that we should no longer
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal products and regard
animals
 as food.
However
, I concur that there is a necessity to
use
animals
.
Firstly
, there are something
animals
 bring to us which is unsubstituted.
For instance
, we can extract something like some minerals which may serve as a must for important medicine only from
animals
. Those kinds of
things
 are believed too hard to be manufactured by us humans but are crucial to our lives.
Secondly
, if we cut down the
use
 of
animals
, there will be lots of people losing their jobs,
thus
 having a negative influence on social stability. All in all,
although
 I agree with the opinion that
animals
 are our friends,
as well as
 some are unnecessary for us, we still need to
use
animals
 in some specific ways.
Submitted by fzlnufe on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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