IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below shows a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #park #first
The two plans show how grange
park
 in Arnold Avenue looked when it was opened first in 1920 and how it is transformed today.
Overall
, it is evident from plans that there have been significant changes and development that occurred in the
park
 from the time it was opened to today. A major change like the replacement of the fountain with a
rose
garden
. In 1920, grange
park
 had lots of
rose
 gardens scattered all over the place,
however
 today the number of
rose
 gardens is reduced. The fountain in 1920 is demolished and replaced with a
rose
garden
 surrounded by four seats. ,
Also
 the number of seats which were previously spread out at the edges of the
park
 is now in the centre around the
rose
garden
.
In contrast
, the two entrances at the opposite side to the north and south of the estate in 1920 are maintained present day.
Moreover
, on the east side of the plane, the pond for water plants and glasshouse is replaced with a children's play area and water feature respectively. So as the
rose
garden
 was uprooted and replaced with a cafe.
Furthermore
, there is an introduction of an amphitheatre for concerts to the west side of the plan which extends to the area where the stage for musicians used to be.
Submitted by yeboahsamuellaabban on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: