Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. Agree? disagree?

Many
people
argue that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation should
volunteer
for free in their spare
time
, which would be beneficial for them and society as a whole. I strongly agree with
this
view as described
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
the following paragraphs.
On the other hand
,
people
who participate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community activities have more opportunities to meet a lot of
people
from different regions and backgrounds.They can see all aspects of life through which they will learn how to communicate with folks who have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different characteristics, have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
compassion for each other and how to
work
in a group.
Besides
that,
participatingin
Correct your spelling
participating in
participating
volunteer
activities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the perfect
time
for children to develop skills
such
as
time
management, communication, and problem-solving, which are strong points for them to compete with other candidates when
lokking
Correct your spelling
looking
for future
work
.
On the other hand
, it
also
brings a lot of benefits to the community.
Firstly
, the local environment does not need to spend the budget to hire
people
and
work
.They may spend that funds on health or education.
Secondly
, working as a
volunteer
for free,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could reduce crime and robbery in the country. Taking everything into
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consideration, parents should allow their children
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
for free as
Add an article
a volunteer
show examples
volunteer
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
show examples
in their free
time
, because it has a great
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
society and
Correct article usage
the adolscent
show examples
adolscent
Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolescents
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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