IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The international committee should act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce fossil fuels such as gas and oil. Do you agree or disagree?

#committee #act #countries #fuels #gas #oil
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Nowadays, the reduction in the use of fossil fuels is considered to be of supreme importance around the globe. I totally agree that it is imperative for the international committee to act on
this
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 agenda.
To begin
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 with, I believe all the countries around the globe share a common responsibility to cope with the hazardous impacts of fossil fuel usage. The use of oil and gas in industries and factories is playing a monumental role in an exponential rise of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. These emissions,
consequently
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, are responsible for the spectacular rise of the global temperature.
For instance
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,
according to
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Inter-governmental
Correct article usage
the Inter-governmental
show examples
 Panel on Climate Change(IPCC), the world temperature has risen to 1.5 degrees in the past couple of decades.
This
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 surging temperature is not affecting any particular region but it has worldwide disastrous implications.
Hence
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, it is paramount for all nations to devise ways to cope with
this
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 imminent threat.
Furthermore
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, owing to the use of fossil fuels like oil and gas, the notable increase of carbon and other potent gasses
such
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 as methane and carbon monoxide into the atmosphere has culminated in the burgeoning of contaminants in the air around the globe. These pollutants have grave effects on the lives of masses dwelling on every continent of the world.
For example
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, people face multiple health challenges because of
this
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 pollution.
Moreover
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, their usage has led to various challenges in the transportation industry as well. One can see that more vehicles on the roads will mean more pollutants in the air.
Therefore
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, it is the collective responsibility of every state to work for the betterment of the environment. In a nutshell, I strongly argue that it is paramount for developed
as well as
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 developing countries to concoct measures to reduce the usage of oil and gas in industries, factories and transport. In
this
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 way, the world will become a healthy place to live.
Submitted by hamzabajwa7262 on

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task response
Ensure to fully address the prompt by discussing both the reasons for reducing fossil fuels and the role of the international committee in this process.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Work on connecting ideas more explicitly between different paragraphs to enhance coherence.
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