Today family members do not eat meals together. Why does this happen? Is this a positive or negative development Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, each person
prefer
to have their meal by themselves alone and not sit at a table with their family. I believe that Change the verb form
prefers
this
is a major problem that comes from the fast-paced technology growth, which has made people
like spending more time
on their phones rather than chatting with each other, as well as
a terribly negative development that leads to people
falling apart from each other.
To begin
with, due to
the technology
growth, Replace the word
technological
people
are less interested in having face-to-face communication with others, as they prefer to spend most of their time
on their own by scrolling through social media. With that being said, everyone is now busy texting friends, scrolling through different apps such
as Instagram or TikTok, and liking the mesmerizing photos that have been posted on these apps. Moreover
, this
will eventually hypnotism people
to spend most of their lives in this
unreal environment rather than talking and communicating with their loved ones in the real world.
Furthermore
, in my opinion, this
is an extremely negative development that has made each of us into a secluded individual instead
of our natural behavior
which is being social and communicating with others. Change the spelling
behaviour
For instance
, now most of us enjoy having our meals in our rooms and not sitting around the table and having family time
. A few years ago, all families tended to eat food and especially have dinner with family members, as this
was the time
that each member could share their everyday stories and have a great time
with their loved ones, however
, nowadays it is quite the opposite. Other than that, spending all of our time
by ourselves and not talking to real-life people
, will eventually lead to be depressed and cause permanent mental problems.
To sum up
, I think that having each meal with our family is a great opportunity to express our ideas and feelings with the ones that are caring and love us the most in our life. It is also
the best time
to put our phones down and cherish the real moments and memories that will last
us a lifetime.Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on
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task achievement
Your essay discusses the reasons and impacts of families not eating together, which shows you understand the task. However, it lacks a clearer structure in terms of paragraphs separating the introduction, main body, and conclusion more distinctly. Try to start with a more defined introduction, stating what the essay will discuss, followed by body paragraphs each focusing on a separate point (one on causes and the other on effects), and conclude with a summary of your stance and a restatement of the main points.
coherence cohesion
Aim to enhance logical flow by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more coherently. For coherence, also ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about, followed by explanation and example.
task achievement
While you included examples and reasons in your essay, work on providing more precise and detailed examples from your own experience or observations to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant to the topic.