IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that these days developed
nations
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 often send financial aid to
countries
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 that suffering from poverty, but all
this
Linking Words
 kind of help doesn't solve poverty. The question is, whether rich
countries
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 should give different kinds of help to poor
nations
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?
Change the punctuation
.
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In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss
this
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 statement and write my own opinion. In terms of view, helping needy
countries
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 with
money
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 solves a lot of issues. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that with a good financial
state
Add a comma
,state
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countries
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 can develop many fields and it's positively reflected in their residents. To illustrate, developed the damaged education buildings and set a professional staff there and put a good salary for them.
In other words
Linking Words
, the education field is considered essential in a way to developing the country and improving every field that society needs it. With
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money
Add an article
the money
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 the poor country can solve many problems that they face for a long time.
Moreover
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,
besides
Linking Words
money
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 there are a lot of things can developed
countries
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 do to help poor
nations
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.
Firstly
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, send trained volunteers in many fields to
countries
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 that are in need.
In other words
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, poor
countries
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 usually don't have the high quality of work and services as rich
nations
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.
Secondly
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, providing scholarships to young and talented with free workshops.
This
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 is because improving the education field in poor
nations
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 required a long time to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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at a good level.
Also
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, poor
countries
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 can't improve everything with their small opportunities.
Also
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, rich
countries
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 can send good doctors and build good hospitals in poor areas. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 financial aid is helping a lot
also
Linking Words
, poor
countries
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 need more than
money
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that developed
nations
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 should give other types of help to poor
countries
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 rather than financial aid.

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