IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

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Nowadays, the world is facing a heating up global. There are so many reasons leading to global warming.
This
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 essay will analyze the root causes of global warming and
then
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 suggest remedies to protect our green Earth. The first popular reason is the increase in emissions into the
air
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. With the proliferation of population, we are producing a great deal of gaseous exhaust, which contaminates directly to the Earth, specifically causing global warming. People not only use more means of transportation but
also
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 burn more fossil fuels in their
life
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lives
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living
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which create a large amount of
carbon
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dioxide
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. Getting rid of
carbon
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dioxide
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 drives an increase in temperature
then
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 causes global warming. The second reason is
deforestation
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. The cutting down of trees in a large area or the destruction of the jungle
make
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causes
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 a decrease in natural oxygen. Simultaneously, more
carbon
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dioxide
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 exists in the
air
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due to
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 the reduction of photosynthesis.
Similarly
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, the
air
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 heats up
and
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apply
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will
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apply
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result
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resulting
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 in an inevitable phenomenon called global warming. Governments have the main responsibility. They should make some strict laws about
deforestation
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 and launch some campaigns,
for example
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, afforestation, and propagation of protecting
of
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the environment.
This
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 will help raise public awareness about not only the restrictions on disposing of gases but
also
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 the re-greening of barren hills.
Besides
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, individuals should give their hands to tackle the problem by using public transportation rather than private vehicles and joining the planting tree plan of the government. Both actions bring the benefit of rising in oxygen and reducing
carbon
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dioxide
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 released in the
air
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 which leads to
balanced
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a balanced
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 fundamental ratio of substances. In conclusion, the main causes of global warming are
deforestation
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 and the release of emissions, especially
carbon
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dioxide
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. To prevent the disgusting effects that can occur because of the above phenomenon, governments should prepare some projects for protecting the environment, restricting
deforestation
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, and propagation to raise the awareness of citizens. Simultaneously, all people proactively comply with laws and carry out government campaign

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task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and what the essay will cover. However, adding a clearer thesis statement outlining the main causes and solutions would improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, but some sentences are complex and could be simplified for better readability. Aim for clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific laws or programs that have been successful in reducing emissions or the effects of deforestation.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, demonstrating a good attempt at structure.
task achievement
You have identified key causes of global warming and provided some potential solutions, which shows engagement with the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global issue
  • severity
  • urgency
  • greenhouse effect
  • human-induced
  • deforestation
  • fossil fuel combustion
  • industrial pollution
  • environmental regulations
  • emission standards
  • renewable energy sources
  • green technologies
  • international cooperation
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • energy consumption
  • public transportation
  • recycling
  • eco-friendly
  • extreme weather conditions
  • biodiversity
  • economic stability
  • collective responsibility
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