IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
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The first chart depicts the percentage of households with electrical appliances in 99
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The second graph illustrates the number of hours of housework per week per household from 1920 to 2019. The percentage of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines

It seems that machine may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 in 1920 started at 40%, increased to 70% in 1960, slightly decreased in 1980, and increased to 74% in 2019. In 1920, the refrigerator started at 0% and extremely increased to 100% in 1980 and became stable at 100% till 2019. The vacuum cleaner highly increased from 30% in 1920 and became 100% in 2000 and 2019. In 1960 the
percetage
Correct your spelling
percentage

If you don’t want percetage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines

It seems that machine may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 and
vacuum
Add an article
the vacuum

The noun phrase vacuum cleaner seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners

It seems that cleaner may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 was the same at 70%. The number of hours per week of housework
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning in 1920 started at 50% and year by year extremely decreased to 10% in 99
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The first charts show the percentage of electrical appliances like washing machine, refrigerator, and vacuum cleaner increased in 99
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The second graph show number of housework decreased every 20
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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