Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, unfortunately, a large
number
Use synonyms
of
TV
Use synonyms
shows
use
Use synonyms
violent vocabulary and
this
Linking Words
language has a
number
Use synonyms
of negative effects on
children
Use synonyms
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a host of
children
Use synonyms
learns
Correct subject-verb agreement
learn
show examples
it and
use
Use synonyms
violent speech in society. I strongly agree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
argument. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain why. On the one hand, a
number
Use synonyms
of
TV
Use synonyms
entertainment
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
attractive
Replace the word
attract
show examples
more individual uses bad and violent speech.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a
number
Use synonyms
of folk especially
children
Use synonyms
watch these
TV
Use synonyms
shows and learn some bad languages.
In addition
Linking Words
, a host of parents
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
that their
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
have a perfect memory.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
and kids can learn more easily than the others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, If
children
Use synonyms
watch bad
TV
Use synonyms
shows, when they get older they will
use
Use synonyms
and speak violence in society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
number
Use synonyms
of
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
show examples
think that
this
Linking Words
violence does not have an influence on
kids'
Correct your spelling
kids
show examples
and
children
Use synonyms
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, a large
number
Use synonyms
of people, Including me, believe that these bad
TV
Use synonyms
shows, movies and films can have a direct impact on
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my friends has a tiny brother his name was Reza. I remember that Reza watched a movie in
this
Linking Words
movie some actors used violent language.
In addition
Linking Words
, Reza learned these bad languages and used
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
argues about
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how violent speech has an impact on
children
Use synonyms
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
number
Use synonyms
of
TV
Use synonyms
shows, movies and films for attractive views
use
Use synonyms
bad language.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
and kids can learn everything easily.
Consequently
Linking Words
, parents should care
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses the prompt. Develop your ideas more thoroughly with clearer, comprehensive explanations, and make use of more detailed, relevant examples. This can involve deeper analysis of how and why violence on TV impacts children's behavior and discussing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on creating a more logical, seamless flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Also, organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct themes can help. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by clearly restating the topic, your position, and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion. This helps reinforce your argument to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitization
  • Imitation
  • Anti-social behavior
  • Aggression
  • Empathy
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Media literacy
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Parental guidance
  • Temperament
  • Media content
  • Regulation
  • Censorship
  • Self-control
  • Critical analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: