Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, children prefer to stay home playing video

games

Use synonyms

rather than outdoor sports. Many parents including me feel that they should be engaged in sports more than computer

games

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will see the reason behind

this

Linking Words

statement and

thus

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, come up with a reasoned conclusion.

Firstly

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, staying indoors and playing on electronic devices do little to no help for the child. It is addictive, bad for eyesight, and

not to mention

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lack of any physical exercise. At times they are so involved with their PC or console that, they sometimes do not do their homework, and

as a result

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, parents get complaints from the teacher.

For example

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, my cousin got a new PlayStation game and he was playing it almost every hour,

hence

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he often forgot to complete his assignment on time.

Therefore

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the negative effect of video

games

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can not be ignored.

Furthermore

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, it is far more productive when the young ones are engaged in outdoor activities. It helps them become physically active, improves their social skills like teamwork, and

also

Linking Words

increases their self-confidence.

For instance

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, it has been found that 80% of young ones who play on PC are shyer and quiet when compared to those who are active in outdoor

games

Use synonyms

. Their confidence is high and they are more independent as they grow.

Moreover

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, it is

also

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found that they are physically stronger than the ones who only played on the computer.

Hence

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, the significance of sports on young people can not be ignored.

To conclude

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, it can be strongly argued that outdoor activities are not just necessary but

also

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beneficial for young children.

den_wei20Tue Apr 11 2023

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, aim to deepen your analysis by discussing potential counterarguments or limitations to your stance. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs are well-linked with clear transitional phrases to create a more seamless reading experience. Consider using a wider variety of linking phrases beyond 'Firstly' and 'Furthermore.'

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position in support of outdoor activities over video games and maintains this stance throughout.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure to the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the anecdote about the cousin, which illustrates the negative impact of video games.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The following is a diagram of the mobile phone recycling process.

Investor are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do yo agree with this statement? Give reason and include any relevant example based on your own knowlegde.

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?