In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past few decades, the patterns of a family seem to be greatly diversified. There are several changes related to
this
trend regarding its organization and members'
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
. In my opinion,
this
tendency can be seen as progress. There are a variety of different alterations to
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, the structure of a nuclear family now can have more than a breadwinner, who normally is the father.
This
is because, in recent years,
women
also
play a vital
role
in terms of family income. In fact, the tech-savvy era dramatically boosts the cost of living, and
as a result
, both parents are required to secure a job to meet the demand of family expenditure. Another significant change to mention is the
role
of its members in a household. It means that it is considered a normal thing that the woman will be a financial supporter.
As a result
of
women
's protests for their rights,
women
nowadays have the conditions to achieve a better education and have the ability to find a well-paid job meanwhile the other spouse will be the domestic person to take care of house chores.
For example
, as reported in Vietnam Express in 2020, more than 30% of households in Vietnam have a wife as the main earner. From my perspective, those changes in the family's structure and parental roles are positive for a variety of reasons. That both parents can be the breadwinners would ensure the stable
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
of a family. It means that it would not only ease the burden on the crucial
role
of the father but
also
help the mother to pursue her dream job.
For example
, as reported by Times in 2018
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
working Japanese
women
have reduced the pressure on husbands when it is traditional that men should be the main
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
in Japan. A second positive aspect is that it is an upward step that individuals are at liberty to do what they are good at and what they belong to.
Women
can follow their
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
and
ambition
Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
show examples
which would balance the family's financial status if they are better at work
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than men. In conclusion, from my point of view, the differences in the structure of a family and the parental
role
should be taken into consideration as a positive practice.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but more development is needed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion, but some areas lack coherence in connecting ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income
  • gender roles
  • single-parent households
  • divorce rates
  • same-sex parents
  • multigenerational
  • family dynamics
  • aging population
  • communication technology
  • child-rearing approaches
  • work-life balance
  • remote working
  • family structure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: