“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The issue of [topic] has become a highly debated topic in recent years.
While
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some argue that [opposing argument], others maintain that [main argument] is a more beneficial and sustainable solution.
This
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essay will examine both sides and argue why I strongly believe that [your opinion] is the most effective approach. A key reason why [main argument] is crucial is its long-term impact on [specific area, e.g., economic development, social stability, environmental protection]. Research has shown that countries that focus on [main argument] tend to experience greater [positive outcome], which ultimately contributes to [additional benefit].
For instance
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, in [real-world example],
this
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approach has led to remarkable progress in [specific field], demonstrating its effectiveness and sustainability.
Moreover
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,
this
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strategy provides long-term advantages for future generations, making it an essential and prudent choice for modern societies.
However
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, some critics argue that [opposing argument], emphasizing the potential risks of [negative effect].
While
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this
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concern is not without merit, these challenges can be mitigated with the right strategies,
such
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as [policy, solution, or approach]. Governments and organizations can introduce measures to reduce the negative impacts, ensuring that the benefits of [main argument] are maximized.
Therefore
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, despite the valid concerns regarding [opposing argument], it does not outweigh the positive outcomes associated with [main argument]. In conclusion,
while
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both perspectives on [topic] offer valid points, the advantages of [main argument] are far more compelling. By implementing effective policies and strategies, societies can capitalize on its benefits
while
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minimizing potential drawbacks.
As a result
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, [main argument] stands as the most beneficial solution to [topic].

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Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear argument; however, it could benefit from a more developed discussion around opposing viewpoints. Providing more detail about the drawbacks of health education and prevention measures would strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly. This will enhance the flow of the essay and help clarify the relationships between different points.
Task Achievement
Make sure to thoroughly address the question in the conclusion. A brief recap of the main argument without addressing the importance of both perspectives may not fully meet the expectations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion. This makes it easy for readers to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
The use of real-world examples is effective in underpinning your argument, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic at hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • quality of life
  • early detection
  • prognoses
  • health budget
  • informed choices
  • adequate resources
  • long-term investment
  • mitigates
  • empowers
  • incidence of illness
  • healthcare budget allocation
  • unpredictability in health issues
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