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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #summaries #features #comparisons
Pie charts depict the development of 3 segments of ages over the next 50
years
, commencing from 2000, in two main countries, Yemen and Italy,
Overall
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be clearly seen a gradual rise of adults over the
years
 in Yemen country
while
 a remarkable downward in the adult rate in Italy, glancing at pies charts reveal that in 2000, the teenager category (00-14
years
) was roughly equal to the adult's portion (15-59
years
) with nearly 46,3 % ,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 the estimation in the next 50
years
 predicts a dramatic drop in teenager ratio, from exactly 50,1% to 37%,
whereas
 adults portion (15-59
years
) will increase with 11% by the year of 2050,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
along with
 a slight jump of (60+
years
) category to 5,7%
instead
 of 3,6% in 2000,
on the other hand
, Italy registered a high percentage of adults (15-59
years
) in 2000 with 61,6%,
nonetheless
this
 rate will decrease to 46,2%
while
 the elder's portion (60+
years
) will increase from 24,1% to 42,3% in 2050,
as well as
 a fractional reduce in teenagers (0-14
years
) with 3,2% of rate difference.
Submitted by creativedesign1a9 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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