Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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In modern days, many

children

Use synonyms

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

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most of their leisure time on their smartphones. Mostly because of the various information and sources online. From my perspective, I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits of

this

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circumstance. It is readily apparent that Digital device has been widespread all over the world.

Firstly

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, youngsters spend a lot of time on smartphones mainly

due to

Linking Words

their numerous functions and platforms

from

Change preposition

apply

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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For example

Linking Words

children

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can find lots of information or entertainment on their smartphones, like games, social media and a variety of websites which can be extremely attractive to kids. In my point of view,

this

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phenomenon isn’t a positive development for kids. On the one hand, youngsters who usually stick to technology have a huge impact on their individual and societal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. Not only

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

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damage to their eyes but

also

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bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

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about adverse effects of having problems interacting physically with other people.

On the other hand

Linking Words

while

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technologies keep improving their functions, The less people need to think or process which is not helpful for kids’ self-development.

For instance

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, most

children

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don’t even know how to spell words collectively because even if people type wrong words on the phone it can help them correct the mistakes automatically. It could cause the young generation to lose their basic skills. In conclusion, the smartphone is undoubtedly convenient nowadays.

However

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, I think it is not a positive development to make

children

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stick to technologies for hours which could damage their physical and mental health in the long term.

Submitted by 4949angela on Tue Apr 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

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lexical resource

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grammatical range and accuracy

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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