Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

In modern days, many

children

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

most of their leisure time on their smartphones. Mostly because of the various information and sources online. From my perspective, I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits of

this

circumstance. It is readily apparent that Digital device has been widespread all over the world.

Firstly

, youngsters spend a lot of time on smartphones mainly

due to

their numerous functions and platforms

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

For example

children

can find lots of information or entertainment on their smartphones, like games, social media and a variety of websites which can be extremely attractive to kids. In my point of view,

this

phenomenon isn’t a positive development for kids. On the one hand, youngsters who usually stick to technology have a huge impact on their individual and societal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Not only

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

damage to their eyes but

also

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

about adverse effects of having problems interacting physically with other people.

On the other hand

while

technologies keep improving their functions, The less people need to think or process which is not helpful for kids’ self-development.

For instance

, most

children

don’t even know how to spell words collectively because even if people type wrong words on the phone it can help them correct the mistakes automatically. It could cause the young generation to lose their basic skills. In conclusion, the smartphone is undoubtedly convenient nowadays.

However

, I think it is not a positive development to make

children

stick to technologies for hours which could damage their physical and mental health in the long term.

Submitted by 4949angela on Tue Apr 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Consider using linking words to improve the coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range and accuracy

Review your grammar to minimize errors and improve accuracy.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.
When it comes to the subjects that the university students should take, some believe that it should be based on individual’s passion, while others see that it should be related to science and technology as it will be beneficial for the future. In my view, considering subjects to pursue higher education should provide a balance between individual’s ambition and the usefulness for the society.
5
band
Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Something that everyone will agree about that we need to work to earn money and to meet our financial commitments. While some people prefer a casual or part-time job, I believe the full-time job is better than casual.
5.5
band
Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Offenders are the ones who have committed a crime , that somehow affects the moral fabric of our society. While some public thinks that the best way to deal with such criminals is to put them in prison, others, ,however, prefer providing them with education and training. This essay will throw light on both these views along with my opinion
7.5
band
These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?
The number of people who are willing to choose teaching as their future career is decreasing rapidly every year. There are several reasons why society prefers other professions. In this essay, I will go through the reasons why this happens and provide possible solutions on how to improve this situation.
<4
band
University students are increasingly studying abroad as a part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? Nowadays, many students pursue their higher studies in foreign countries. The main advantage for students studying abroad is the access to better quality education and improved job prospects.
Sugar also brought development and luxury to Cuba. During the “Dance of the Millions”, when the price of sugar soared after the outbreak of World War I, the local “sugarocracy”, not knowing what else to do with their dizzying profits, commissioned decadent Renaissance and Art Nouveau mansions that still line Havana’s more affluent suburbs.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?