It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional live and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Stepping outside our comfort zones is a vital component of our careers and daily lives. I believe that the pros of taking risks outweigh its cons.

Firstly

, there are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negatives of risk-taking. It can lead to failures in one's profession, which can have a negative effect on not only

company's

Correct article usage

the company's

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revenue

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

personal

relationshps

Correct your spelling

relationships

Furthermore

, taking personal risks can cost

people

financially.

For instance

, if a family moves from a small town to a bigger city for a better lifestyle, they should consider the higher cost of living.

However

, I believe that a significant benefit of risk-taking is that it can allow

people

to chase and achieve their career ambitions. To illustrate, my friend who is a nurse decided to work abroad for a better working environment and salary. She studied and worked at the same time for a year in order to pass the exam called NCLEX nursing exam. Eventually, she moved to the USA, got her dream job as a nurse, and she was highly satisfied. Another significant advantage of trying new things is that it can help

people

learn to take up new skills

such

as learning a foreign language or taking a yoga class,

this

will be a great way for them to overcome their fear and give them a sense of achievement with regards to their personal lives. In conclusion,

although

taking on a challenge can result in failures and be costly, I am convinced that it encourages

people

to grow and reach both their career development and personal goals.

Submitted by lym1049 on Tue Apr 11 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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