IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • say how you feel about his performance • give details of your musical activities • explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

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Dear Gerard Way, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my feelings after attending your musical concert
last
Linking Words
 Saturday. During the Helena song, I went into tears as nostalgic memories from my school years came back to me. As the show developed, the range of emotions kept hitting me in surprising ways and
finally
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, by the end, I went back home feeling light-hearted and grateful to have had
this
Linking Words
 wonderful experience. Regarding my musical activities, I currently play the violin and I am starting to learn to play the piano as well. Attending musical classes is the highlight of my week, as I intend to improve to a professional level so I can make a living from my music. If possible, I would like to request a performance from you at the musical festival at Maria's Orphans Institution by the end of December. It would mean a lot to all children since some of them want to learn more about music but do not have the incentive from a professional. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to receiving your response. Yours faithfully, Amanda Lago

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coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and direct approach in your writing to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
Consider expanding slightly more on how the singer's involvement could specifically benefit your musical activities or the aim of the event you're inviting them to. This would enhance the task achievement aspect of your letter.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a different aspect, and a polite conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The tone you've employed is perfectly suited for a letter of this nature: respectful, appreciative, and hopeful without being presumptuous.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stellar performance
  • captivating
  • musical prowess
  • talent
  • repertoire
  • collaboration
  • mentorship
  • resonate
  • aspiring musician
  • composition
  • rendition
  • inspirational
  • vocal range
  • harmonize
  • skillset
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